A challenging time

I share the story of my week because it’s had quite a profound impact on me.

On monday I was returning home after dropping Josh off at school when I recieved a phone call from a close friend.  What had happened was Carin – a very dear friend of mine had gone to work and opened her email to find an email from her son Craig.  The subject heading was, Farewell.  Without reading anymore she phoned home, where he was staying and asked the maid where Craig was.  His wife had arrived to drop off the kids with him at his mom’s place and had sent the kids in to wake him.  With a phone call from Carin saying he’s not sleeping, he’s killed himself the panic began.  I arrived several minutes after that to find his 7 year old daughter clinging to her grandfather sobbing and his 12 year old son standing at the gate waiting for the ambulance.  The expression on his face I’ll never forget.  I hugged his son and said, I’m sorry boy, are you scared?  He just nodded, not even being able to speak or comprehend what was going on.  I had no clue what to say and just hugged him saying everything will be ok, knowing that the words were empty even as they left my mouth.

Craig, as I write this has spent the week in ICU and is still not concious.  He has brain, kidney and liver damage from the overdose and has been on dialysis twice during the week.  He has seizures and thrashes around violantly when he attempts to wake up and the doctors have kept him medicated and calm.

I’ve sat with the family praying, I’ve done what practical things I can, I’ve listened to them share their hurt, dissapointment and desperation and felt their anger at what Craig decision has caused.  I’ve made myself available not because I’m a close friend of Craig but because I’m close to his mom and his wife and want to carry some of their burden.

What’s been so impactful is the desire not to pray for his return to full health but for God’s will to be done.  Do we want him to be restored to a life that he does’nt want and battled to cope with as a healthy man, now to be brain damaged and have major organ damage to add to his load.  Is’nt it better for him to return to God and allow his family to heal?  Maybe, or maybe he is still needed by his children in whatever state he’s in.  He’s still their dad and as long as he can offer love then maybe that’s enough to live for.

Please pray for this family, torn apart, broken hearted, with more pain and confusion than they were prepared to carry.  His mom Carin who loves her son desperately. His wife and children